Originally, I wanted
to be a journalist. Ever since I learned how to write, I loved to write stories
and poetry. I was clearly Right Brain Dominant. I was a Staff Reporter/Photographer
for my high schools newspaper. The first event occurred one day when my teacher
gave a negative critique on one of my articles and I went home and told my mom
that I didn’t think I wanted to be a journalist anymore. Feeling lost about
what I was going to do with my life, my mom planted a seed in my brain. She
said, “I watched a program on TV about embalming, it seemed so interesting.
Maybe you should think about being a Mortician.” From that suggestion the seed
started to grow in the left side of my brain. Being first generation in the
profession, I didn’t know what I needed to do in order to become a Funeral
Director so I went to a local Funeral Home for answers. I learned that there
was only one college in Maryland I could go to and that I would be receiving an
A.A.S. Degree in Mortuary Science. I was never one for science but all of a
sudden I became Left Brain Dominant.
In October of 2004
(my Senior year of high school) my Great Aunt died. This was the first time I
ever lost someone I loved and the second event that led me closer to the
funeral profession. Her funeral took place in Pennsylvania. I remember the
first time I looked at her; I didn’t feel sad but a sort of relief instead. She
looked beautiful and better than she had for some time. She had suffered from
Dementia and had been sick for a few years. She was well into her 90’s and
lived a wonderful life. We truly did celebrate her life that day, instead of
mourning her death. I know that sounds cliché, but the excellent care that
Funeral Home gave her made our families grief a little less and I knew I wanted
to be able to provide the same for other people.
A month before my
Aunt died, my best friend was diagnosed with a tumor on her brain stem. After
several surgeries she was able to come home and was put on Hospice care. My mom
tried to explain to me that Hospice was there to help her feel more comfortable
because she was dying. I never once believed she was going to die. On March 26,
2005 I received the call that she had died. The heartbreak I felt was like
nothing I’d felt before and to this day I have yet to feel anything worse. I
remember every minute of that day. I was getting ready to leave for work when I
received the call from her mother. Family and close friends gathered at her
house to say goodbye. They were going to have a Jewish funeral so there would
be no embalming and no viewing. I sat next to her bed and held her hand. If I
close my eyes I can still see her; I can still feel her. I was sitting in the
kitchen as the Funeral Director’s prepared to take her out of the house. I
watched through the window as she left on the stretcher, knowing this was the
last time I’d ever see her. And as I sat there, I overheard her Uncle say “Wow,
how can that be your job? Thank God for people like that.” In that moment I
knew there wasn’t any other career path for me to follow. This is the path God
laid for me.
I would like to dedicate my first blog to my friend Dario,
who is a much better writer than I. He helped me to realize that I stopped
writing when my best friend died and that I wanted to start writing again. It’s
been almost seven years since she passed. I want to use this blog to share my
experiences as a Funeral Director/Mortician and also to provide a reference
guide on what to do when you lose a loved one. There
is really nothing “morbid” about the funeral profession. It is diverse in the
sense that it incorporates art, psychology, business and science into one career. This
profession has made me Whole Brain Dominant J There will always be a great necessity for
someone to take care of the dead. Being a Funeral Director isn’t
easy, nor does being one make me immune to emotion and heartache. Every day is
a lesson and full of new and sometimes unusual events. I’d like to share these
lessons and events with you!
